There are many types and categories of regrets. I wouldn't elaborate on them - feel free to ask your friends or family, they have plenty. Instead I would put it this way: there are regrets that are made because we simply deemed it too hard to do and there are regrets that are made because of inaction and/or indecisiveness. Sure, you can argue that there's a ton of overlap between the two, but to me there are nuances in each and that's enough for me. Consider the following scenarios:

• Opening a door for a stranger

• Helping an elderly lost in a building

• Taking the extra time each day at work to do something else for your coworkers

• Sending a message to your parents telling them how much you are grateful for them

• Sending a message to your lover, crush, or ex-lover, what you think of them and looking back to shared experiences

I think you get the point by now. Generally, the regrets are made after some time has passed and after you reflected on that event. And when life continues, a lot of them are made. To a lot of people, faith and/or teachings help them navigate life towards living a good life as they think, but even then, the weight of regrets burdens them.

Adults and Regrets

So I think living a good life means having less regrets as you get older. The more regrets you have, the more it piles up on your subconscious. That's what I believe. It's also the reason why when you ask old people, if they have lived a good life, chances are they'll answer that they did - but if they don't answer that they did, chances are they will tell you exactly what they regretted doing. But this isn't just exclusive to those that lived a bad life (by their own admission) but also those who have lived a good life. They'll mention what they've regretted first before they talk about the good deeds they've did or the things they've enjoyed the most. Adults accumulate a lot of regrets because of their propensity towards safety; as we grow older we become more aware of our mortality and the risks on our paths everyday.

This is the case for most adults: they think first of regrets before everything else when someone asks them for advice because now they think less of the risks and more about the experience they've missed. Regrets heavily weighs on anyone, except for kids. Kids are sort-of immunized to this phenomena because kids do first before asking themselves any questions. The adults do it the other way - mostly - and that's why there's a lot of regrets that accumulate along the way. I won't get into much technical jargon or philosophy but my take is this: I suppose this is because our 'System 1' accumulates a lot of risk-aversive measures from experience that shapes our mentality towards things. And that comes down towards most of us not taking action when we want. This leaves us a feeling of dissatisfaction when we could've had grown from an experience instead of avoiding it.

There's very few philosophies, teachings, or writings that discusses the importance of dealing with regrets - and rightly so. No one has the actual answer to this question. Anyone that claims so has a product to sell, an idea to propagandize, or has a simplistic view of the world. It is up to us to define our own methods of dealing with regrets so we can have less regrets in the future. It is up to us to resolve the roots that caused regrets. Whether by faith, philosophy, morality, or ethics, we just need our personal way of resolving regrets.

Resolution of Regrets

One way I've decided to live a good life is to simply make less regrets by taking actions that would have very low risk profile to me while also evaluating actions that have high risk profile and immediately accessible to me. That also means that I have to step out of my comfort zone as the situation necessitates. Or to carve my mentality to deal with the situation at hand. That's how I've dealt with regrets, and I will need to refine them.

When dealing with regrets with resolving it - we need to make guidelines for ourselves so when we stumble upon the same situation in the future, we'll have better decisions available to us, and maybe one of those decisions wouldn't lead to more regrets; we learn from our regrets, evaluate ourselves on how we could've done better, and we use what we learned as guideline in the future. This is a simple process to resolve regrets. It's a basic framework that anyone can improve upon. There's no guarantee that we wouldn't have regrets in the future if we follow this process, but there would at least be improvements in our mentality and decision-making that would help us live life with less regrets. More options = less chances for regrets = lesser weights on our consciousness.

The hard part of resolving regrets isn't the outlined method or the process I've defined. The actual hard part is going through it. There's no correct way for all of our situations. We need to figure it out ourselves. Whether by faith, philosophy, morality, or ethics.